These are the important points that I notice KILL THE VIBE with women during your interactions.
1, Needing That Outcome
You may have heard this before but it’s such a huge sticking point. During the interaction, needing that outcome, that response, that end result. The overwhelming desire to make it work and for things to go perfectly. This stiffens up the interaction and causes you to take on a wooden like demeanour (Think of trying to carefully to carry a full cup of tea and not spill it. Trying so hard makes you spill it).
You should be aware when you are in this outcome dependence state during the interaction. You find yourself analysing her a little too deeply and thinking about your responses far too much. In return she picks up on this hesitation and what ultimately gets communicated to her is that you are trying really hard to make this work. You lose value and lower attractiveness.
You need to keep an important point in mind when interacting with women. We humans always strive towards the perceived higher value person and generally the least reactive person in an interaction would be the one who holds this value. If you are looking for outcome with her and this causes you to react… It reduces your value and attractiveness.
2, Getting Bombarded with Emotions of Self Doubt
Ever been in an interaction with a girl and all of a sudden you start to doubt yourself and feel that you aren’t good enough? This is another huge sticking point for many men. Again this lowers your value and destroys attraction as your insecurities seep through. Think about this… If you were the real deal, high value and filled with genuine emotions of esteem and self worth. You knew without a shadow of doubt that her life would be enriched with you in it… Would emotions of self doubt come up for you? Would you fear a negative outcome? I think the answer is clear.
3, Putting in too much Energy to Early on During the Interaction
This is to do with calibration and can only be uncovered through lots of field experience. Going in to hard to early and then losing momentum. In other words the vibe just dies. You see you have great-approach-game but you let it all unleash too quickly. In other words you go in with major fire power and guns fill blazing, but then experience burn out. It just dies. So what’s the solution? Calibration is key. You need a good balance of energy that can be worked up as things progress. I guess this behaviour would occur from the mindset of ‘let her also work for you.’ Being slightly mysterious and making her have to figure you out, to push YOUR buttons.
Can you see the common thread with the above three points? They all go back to value. In order to create and sustain attractiveness you must demonstrate genuine and persistent value. This value begins with your internal emotions and ultimately gets communicated through your behaviours. But it’s all linked! A good balance between self development and live field experience is the perfect way to grow your game and become truly amazing at cold approaching and picking up women.
Day/Night whatever… Just get out there and do it. If you are just starting out I would suggest a ratio of 70% field experience and 30% personal development (including learning about dating-such as this article). As you skills improve I would tend to work more on yourself while still been out there. A good ratio of 50% infield and 50% personal development.
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Talk to you soon,
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