As DATING COACHES at ‘Day Game Dating’, we always get asked many questions about picking up women. The best questions are the ones about a recent situation that has occurred in an interaction with a woman and what to do in the future.
I want to go through something today regarding teasing women and I decided I would do something a bit different. I’m going to post an actual question and answer that took place recently.
Personally I get tons of emails per day with guys asking things about various topics.
Now, you may not be aware, but we have also set up an active forum specifically set to handle a lot of the enquiry. This is great as everybody reading gets to learn.
I’m going to post something that recently took place on the forum. I think you may find it helpful as its a hot topic. (By the way, if you didn’t know we had a forum and you would like to check it out and become a member, Please feel free to do so. http://www.daygamedating.com.au/forum/index.php
***Teasing & Flirting Can Be Tricky (QUESTION)*** (as written in forum no editing)
Nice to meet you all. This is my first post and I just spent a few of minutes reading the work of others and I have to say this forum looks like its going to be great. Its made me laugh more than once already, dislocating a shoulder on the dance floor – that’s effort.
I have attended a bootcamp and had an amazing day. One of the things I learned is the importance of being a tease and humorous. I like to think I am a funny guy in my own sort of way, and my friends know me like this. But giving it to others is a little more tricky. In the spirit of teasing I decided to give it a shot at a bar in Wollongong on a Friday night. A reasonably attractive girl sat down at our table, as the table next to us with her friends had no space left. This was ok with my friends. But not with me because I wanted to tease. I said, so youll have to talk to us if you do, if you think you can? She replied in a slightly rood manner with a no thanks. I decided to tell her she was probably too old for us anyway. She looked 22 so I said, 32? She was getting annoyed, so I told her I don’t think you have the conversational ability to talk to us anyway, despite your age.
It continued along getting more and more bitter. So I finally gave her some crap for some acne she had, so she told me I was obviously gay and would be wanking tonight.
Not so smooth. I didn’t give a shit at the time. I had a few beers, my friends couldn’t believe what just happened- a good laugh for them!
So I realised one thing about the teasing at the time. Its not to put the other person down. Its not to make give them a bitter taste. It needs to be playful. I don’t come from a teasing/flirty family (all boys in our house) and my friends are very dry. We have humor but not in a flirty way. So this is new to me. And the next day I didn’t feel to good about it either, I’m not here to cause problems for anyone.
I decided to get colins eBook, which is a really big help, complimenting the boot camp greatly. I learned that you tease on temporary things!
So the moral of the story, keep it fun. And watch the undertone of the flirting, for me it hasn’t been playful as much as bitter, with a few girls to tell the truth.
So I need some of you advice:
Would I be wrong in saying if the girl is not responding to your teasing/flirting building some rapport would be in order?
Has any one been in a situation where the teasing began to go bitter, and how did you handle it?
And what was your most important thing you learned about flirting if you too had to practice it?
I look forward to your replies.
***Teasing &Flirting Can Be Tricky (ANSWER)*** (Colin)
Thanks for the contribution to the group and for sharing this experience.
I will give you a few hints when it comes to teasing women and then we can see how your situation fits in.
1, They have to know your joking on some level.
2, It has to be some-what funny. (even if you are bringing up one of her short comings to attention and its borderline. As long as its funny, it can usually be ok)
3, Never ever come from a reaction seeking, response generating state of mind. If you are teasing simply to get a reaction and a response, it can come across as try hard instead of charming (Telling her she has to talk to you) (not to confuse you, she may have already wanted to talk to you for sitting at your table and so by teasing her on this very point, she may have instantly thought to herself “This guy doesn’t get it”.)
4, Not all girls have a sense of humour and so will not get it when you tease them, no matter how smooth you come across.
5, There is a strong relationship between a women’s self image and how well she will take to it. If she has a lot of self doubt and poor self image, she may be offended and not realise that your playing with her.
6, As a rule of thumb, the hotter the girl and the more confident and easy going she is… The more you cam tease her.
7,Teasing must fit in with your personality as in congruence. If you are not accustomed to doing this sort of stuff, than expect a few challenges in the beginning.
Now, this is just a list of pointers that can act as a guide for you. I wasn’t there when you teased this girl so I can’t comment much more. What I would say, is to look at this list and try to determine where things fell short. I reckon some things may stand out at you. I would take a closer look at points 2, 3, 4, 5 and 7. From the post it sounds like you may have broken some of these rules.
Please let me know what you think. As I said, I wasn’t there but I suspect you can work out where you went wrong. ‘Colin’
Did you read the above forum posts thoroughly?
I believe that its very important to understand the concept of teasing women. Its a great way to spice up your interactions when done correctly and can really get things going. On the flip-side though, It can also be very damaging if you dont grasp the concept of teasing women. It can hurt your interactions and more importantly your self esteem as you take it personally.
The points that I always like to get across when teaching the topic of teasing women are very much covered in the above post. In-fact I couldn’t have found a better Way to write this concept than actually giving you a real life scenario. Read it again and apply it.
As usual I hope this helps you. If your succeeding than Im succeeding.
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